Couples basing their marriages on two incomes may not realize the underlying assumption they make, that everything will go well for them at all times, is not realistic.
During this past year, many discovered that this gamble threatened everything, including their sanity and the well being of their children.
Excellent article by Suzan Sammons: Locked-Down Women Discover True Freedom. I do think that many locked-down women suffered and are suffering a lot, because they are locked in by their choices. But I hope that they can find a way to freedom!
Hello there, clicked on the article link and it doesn't seem to working. Just FYI!
ReplyDeletedidn't work for me either...
ReplyDeleteTry this, if it will let me post the link: click here to get the article
ReplyDeleteIt looks like it let me post the link, but if it doesn't work, you can copy and paste it into another browser from here:
https://www.crisismagazine.com/2021/locked-down-women-discover-true-freedom
I fixed the link, sorry!
ReplyDeleteI miss the "like" button... :) Happy despite broken links...
Delete(I do love the "motto"!)
Leila,
ReplyDeleteCame across this and thought I would share, not so much as an endorsement but a testament (and for other readers as well):
We had two Leila's in our life that, shall we say, gave us pause to consider life in a different way. Leila (Miller)'s blog challenged us not to fear having more kids...this was about five or six years ago (our Conversion 2.0) and we abandoned our white-knuckled grip on controlling our fertility. Until then we just *assumed* having two kids was what one did, especially when you were dual income (two or three is usually the breaking point when most couples realize daycare costs don't make working full time worth it). It was a real kind of 'fear' we had to face, but we trusted and aided by the miraculous medal and stumbling on the LCB blog, we said ok. And though we've suffered five losses, God graced us with another (now 3 year old) and the fear, in retrospect, was a robbing of future joys. Deo Gratias.
This ushers in Leila L's weaving into our life with her erudite nuggets, and somewhere along the way we stumbled upon something you wrote about living on one income, and that it was best that mother's be home. Again, we just *assumed* it didn't make sense to "throw away" an almost six figure salary, especially because I was only earning less than half of that. We had a live in au pair, daycare costs, mortgage, etc. But, again, we said ok--something doesn't seem to be working here, my wife is stressed and going against her heart's desires, and I was kind of resting on my laurels because, well, I could with her salary. Is there an alternative. We crunched some numbers, and with a good heaping of grace, my wife left her FT managerial role, and we also began homeschooling. Again, it was transformative in the sense that no one had ever even suggested there was another way, until you did. My wife was able to work something out to do four overnight shifts a month (very part time), and a few years later I received a promotion at work to a more or less median salary (thank you consecration to St. Joseph) and picked up some side jobs to bridge the gap. She's happier and stepping into her role at home, and the dynamics of our marriage changed for the better. Just seems more, I don't know...natural.
It's been a difficult year, with my wife caring for an aging parent almost full time, but again, that wouldn't be possible if she was working full time, and we weren't homeschooling and had that flexibility. You gave us that little push to think outside the box a little, to consider an alternative, and we needed that--to see it could be done. There's enough 'bend' now so that we don't break, but if we were still DI3K and living/spending in proportion to that with kids in traditional school, I don't know--it's just hard to imagine now. Deo Gratias.
I'm sure many women may find themselves in the boat we were in a few years ago. Just wanted to write to say that it worked for us, but we needed someone to, well, just say it as you do to shake us up a little into thinking of alternatives. Kudos to Ms. Sammons as well for putting the line in the water for other women and families as well to consider.
Take care, sorry for the monologue, and thanks again!
Rob Marco (my nom de plume on Blogger is Paul)
Thank you, Rob (Paul :) ) -- I firmly believe that when anyone, even someone named Leila ;) simply states the truth without fear, others will pick up the baton and carry it on.
DeleteI know I benefit greatly in my life from people who are willing to do this -- to say, "don't be afraid, this is actually the normal way to live, it's the world that has it wrong."
Over and over I have to be reminded of this truth. Every day! I try to do my part! Grateful to have been an influence, however small.
God bless!
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