I posted this on Facebook in 2018. I wanted to put it here on my blog.
Jordan Peterson says of Solzhenitsyn, "One man’s decision to change his life, instead of cursing fate, shook the whole pathological system of communist tyranny to its core. It crumbled entirely, not so many years later, and Solzhenitsyn’s courage was not the least of the reasons why."
Bishop Barron, in speaking favorably of Peterson's characterization of Solzhenitsyn, echoes this essentially moral-therapeutic assessment: "It would have been surpassingly easy for him [Solzhenitsyn] simply to curse his fate, to lash out in anger at God, to become a sullen figure scurrying about the margins of life. Instead, he endeavored to change his own life, to turn the light of his moral consciousness on himself, to get his psychological house in order."
But that is not how Solzhenitsyn tells about what happened to him, what changed him:
Following an operation, I am lying in the surgical ward of a camp hospital. I cannot move. I am hot and feverish, but nonetheless my thoughts do not dissolve into delirium and I am grateful to Dr. Boris Nikolayevich Kornfeld, who is sitting beside my cot and talking to me all evening. The light has been turned out so it will not hurt my eyes. He and I — and there is no one else in the ward.
Fervently he tells me the long story of his conversion from Judaism to Christianity. This conversion was accomplished by an educated, cultivated person, one of his cellmates, some good-natured old fellow like Platon Karatayev. I am astonished at the conviction of the new convert, at the ardor of his words...
It is already late. All the hospital is asleep. Kornfeld is ending up his story thus:
"And on the whole, do you know, I have become convinced that there is no punishment that comes to us in this life on earth which is undeserved. Superficially it can have nothing to do with what we are guilty of in actual fact, but if you go over your life with a fine-tooth comb and ponder it deeply, you will always be able to hunt down that transgression of yours for which you have now received this blow."...
I was wakened in the morning by running about and tramping in the corridor; the orderlies were carrying Kornfeld's body to the operating room. He had been dealt eight blows on the skull with a plasterer's mallet while he still slept. . . . He died on the operating table, without regaining consciousness.
And so it happened that Kornfeld's prophetic words were his last words on earth. And, directed to me, they lay upon me as an inheritance. You cannot brush off that kind of inheritance by shrugging your shoulders.
I lay there a long time in that recovery room from which Kornfeld had gone forth to his death, and all alone during sleepless nights I pondered with astonishment my own life and the turns it had taken. In accordance with my established camp custom I set down my thoughts in rhymed verses — so as to remember them . . .
. . . passing here between being and nothingness,
Stumbling and clutching at the edge,
I look behind me with a grateful tremor
Upon the life that I have lived.
Not with good judgment nor with desire
Are its twists and turns illumined.
But with the even glow of the Higher Meaning
Which became apparent to me only later on.
And now with measuring cup returned to me,
Scooping up the living water,
God of the Universe! I believe again!
Though I renounced You, You were with me!"
This is a very different experience from what Peterson (and Barron) describe. It is more akin to what Boethius says in The Consolation of Philosophy, as he is awaiting a terrible execution: "The soul of a person is most free when it preserves itself in the contemplation of the divine spirit."
Beautifully put! Needed this now. Please keep writing. And I think you are right, and it's not a superficial distinction. Its critical, one might even say deadly.
ReplyDeleteThanks Leila for sharing this. Great insights!
Delete