UPDATE: GO HERE FOR MORE DETAILED INFO ON WHAT TO DO
What did I call? Well, the news today is that Walgreen's is restricting purchases of baby formula. Think about that. I also was right about what to do about this unbelievable development, but it takes forethought.
I have ventured into podcasting in association with The Center for the Restoration of Christian Culture, of which I am a Fellow. It's called The Home Truths Good Cheer Society, and in my first episode, posted a few weeks ago, called "The Reasonably Stocked and Prepared Life, or Doing a Little More," I spoke a bit about the importance of breastfeeding.
Now, I have a lot of reasons to encourage breastfeeding and in my book, The Summa Domestica, I have chapters and chapters on the subject. But in the podcast I really wanted to focus on something that struck me forcibly as I thought about inevitable shortages of food in the coming time.
My question is a frightening one, and we are seeing it now: What if you have a baby and rely on baby formula -- and there isn't any to be had?
When you breastfeed, you don't need to buy anything -- although I know that this could be news to today's young mother who is led to think you do need pumps, bottles, and who knows what.
But you don't.
But if you rely on formula, there's no going back.
Also contrary to what you might be led to believe, the vast majority of women can breastfeed their babies. Believe me, having written about it extensively, I am well aware that exceptions exist. But they are exceptions and they are rare. Breastfeeding a baby is just as essential a bodily function as one's own digestion and so on. However, breastfeeding is something the mother must commit to at the outset or it doesn't work (unless she has had children before, and even then it can be difficult).
The shortsighted and even dangerous reliance on "science" -- the rationale for bottle feeding in the first place -- has caught up with us.
If you are going to have a baby soon or know someone who is, please realize that breastfeeding needs to be a priority. There are many helps for overcoming cultural pressure to do otherwise, including on my blog and in my book.
Amen! My mother was a lactation consultant, international speaker for LLL, public liaison, etc. She saw thousands upon thousands of babies with their mothers. There were two cases in which mothers were truly unable to produce remotely adequate milk and one case of galactosemia, a rare genetic inability for the baby to have milk. Sure, there were also numerous cases where the measures it took to breastfeed were unusually difficult and some families understandably chose to rely partly or wholly on formula. But the overwhelming majority of the time, even when the mother's doctors and loved ones were all saying it was not possible, it was perfectly possible without undue hardships. That's how big the loss of breastfeeding knowledge is in US American culture!
ReplyDeleteOf course that's intrinsically bound up with the unnatural degree of maternal-infant separation that is normalized here. Your posts about nursing are great introductions for someone looking to discover a more authentic understanding of the maternal-infant relationship in humans and how much broader it is than mere nutritional value.
Absolutely necessary - and so important for how God planned for a baby’s immunity to be its best! Yes it is tough getting started, sometimes, but it is the most incredibly easy thing after you get settled in!!
ReplyDeleteI'd love to be nursing a baby right now. I need to lose about 50 pounds! I know it doesn't work for some, but it always worked for me.
ReplyDeleteWhen our first was a baby I and another mother took a short trip from WA to UT. On the return trip she ran out of formula and we had trouble finding a store open on a Sunday in rural Idaho (this was a long time ago). She also had the problem of warming the bottle. I happily nursed my baby with no problems at all. Some use the excuse that it's inconvenient to breast feed. I was just too lazy to even think about filling bottles, washing bottles, heating bottles, etc. To me that was inconvenient. I could feed my babies anytime, anywhere without any equipment except that which God gave me.
As a doula I always encouraged young moms who seemed to think that breastfeeding is just too difficult by reminding them of the Gypsies. The Gypsy girls, married young and probably pretty uneducated, had to feed their babies while living an iterant life, riding in wagons, camping out, cooking over open fires. If the Gypsy girls could do it, you can do it too!
ReplyDeleteSometimes I think that young women, particularly in the first world, just get psyched out by too much information about foremilk, hindmilk, "feedings", etc. It's actually the easiest thing to understand -- when the baby fusses, try nursing first! Let baby lead the way. Don't worry about schedules (except when establishing a good nursing relationship at the very beginning); Momma and Baby together just live life.
Thank you for advocating for breastfeeding. I think it is an answer to a lot of problems, such as super-picky eating, some allergies, rashes, proper weight gain, mother-baby bonding issues, to name a few.
I would second this cultural development I have had the privilege of helping several severely discouraged first time moms successfully breastfeed and I would say moms today are overwhelmed with medical and technical advice ( including the standards from l levee league and consultants) and deeply troubled by misplaced expectations.
DeleteOnce we dispense with those we can usually find the best fit for mom and baby.
I didn't find it easy - too much surplus tissue that had to be held away from the baby's nose - but I did it. I'd say we got a good six months in with all of them. I had an odd experience once, however. Our first was born while my husband was finishing up graduate school, and he was born in St. Raphael's, a New Haven hospital that serves much of the poor parts of the city with free clinics. Since we were about to move to another state it seemed not worth while to get established with a regular pediatrician, so he had his two-week and ten-week visits at the newborn clinic. When the doctor entered the room I was feeding him, as usual (golly, how that boy gained), and the doc said it was nice to see a nursing mother. I replied, surprised, that I thought everyone did. "Everyone in your class does," he said. I was so unused to the expression in modern speech that I thought at first he meant my college class. He didn't. In the Eighties breastfeeding had been successfully promulgated to the middle class, college women, and magazine-readers, but children of poor or undereducated mothers still got the bottle. Perhaps that situation is almost reversed now.
ReplyDeleteIn my experience, it is still as you say. More educated women tend to be those who try breastfeeding. I’m sure there are many exceptions to this but if we had to paint with a broad brush…
DeleteOnly educated women breastfeed, but vexingly, they do so with ALL the paraphernalia, making it seem expensive and complicated. And they don't do it for long.
DeleteImagine if we said "only elite women pee on their own" or "are able to give birth" -- we really need to see that this is a basic bodily function.
That said, there are some uniquely modern issues coming up with breastfeeding that I will go into later.
In South Africa, the very poor often holds minimum wage jobs (if they have a job) requiring the mostly single mothers to return to work within a couple of weeks. Baby is left at a creche or a family member with formula that is often diluted too much. I shudder to think what a shortage in formula would entail to so many many mothers and babies.
DeleteThat said, I've once read that a mother could chew very finely whatever she is eating and feed that with a spoon to her baby. That way, baby also gets any antibodies the mom has. Not ideal, but in a crisis...
Going back to work is the unacknowledged driver here. Ironically, elite women are under just as much pressure as poor women in this area.
DeleteElites demand something as a privilege ("pursuing my best self") and it becomes a burden on the poor ("have to work to survive") -- but both are slaves to it and the baby suffers.
I have a friend who has lived in this country for 20 years, but she grew up in Burma (Myanmar) Her niece just had a baby there. My friend begged her to breastfeed because of the unrest there and the possibility for formula to be in short supply because of the military overtaking stores, banks, etc. since February of last year. Her niece refused because everyone uses formula. Unexpectedly, the formula didn't run out, but was recalled. My friend had a very difficult time trying to convince her niece that she shouldn't use the recalled formula--because it was all she had. Maybe breast is also best because you don't have to rely on Nestle and Carnation to keep your baby's food supply safe, let alone abundant.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more. Recently in the news a baby died from contaminated formula and 2 babies were really sick. When I was born in 1965 my mom (an RN) had to fight to nurse me. She said it was countercultural and she had no support. When I had my first baby in 1994, I didn't think twice about it and also since the apple doesn't fall from from the tree, I had a homebirth much to her chagrin. One of my daughter's friends visited us with her 3 month old a few weeks ago and said when she was going to give up nursing because it was so hard, her mom said No you are not! (she is a mom of 11) She was very thankful her mom encouraged her to push through. With anything, you have to have strong convictions -- staying married, homeschooling, etc.
ReplyDeleteI formula fed two of my children and breastfed two. Breastfeeding was definitely way easier, less stressful, and infinitely less expensive. Formula is crazy expensive these days. If we ever were to have another baby, we could never afford formula!
ReplyDeleteMy first baby was one of the rare situations where formula was necessary. A preemie with an undeveloped suck combined with a very traumatic birth meant my milk never came in fully and my already tiny baby kept dropping weight. Formula literally saved his life.
ReplyDeleteThankfully my next two nursed like champs and I had abundant milk supply. I never used a bottle or pump (expect to relieve myself during a baby’s surgery) and it was so much easier. I had no desire to touch a bottle again after dealing with them with my first. After getting though the first few weeks, nursing is so much easier and more convenient! I’ve never understood the argument that formula is easier.
It seems easier if you are going through those difficult first weeks for the first time and you don't know how great it will be on the other side of the struggle.
DeleteAlso, many couples think it's more "fair" if Dad is sharing in the feedings, both because they feel it promotes father-child bonding (and it may sometimes), but also because it it supposed to take the burden of feeding the baby from Mom. Breastfeeding is sexist. ;) But of course, if you DO breastfeed, then you MUST have pumps and bottles because, again, if you hog the baby you are depriving Dad and Grandma AND putting work on yourself that is a thing of the past...people seem to suggest this without stopping to think about how much work sterilizing all the equipment is.
We sometimes use Abbott's EleCare for my elementary aged child with a chronic illness to supplement his diet. We know of other children with the same illness who consume it exclusively due to a usually-temporary inability to eat anything else.
ReplyDeleteOne of the babies who died was the child of a friend of a friend, and it was a harrowing wait when they went back to the hospital only to have the baby pass. Makes me not want to buy EleCare again, I can tell you that. It feels very uncomfortable when you have a medical need and a company messes up like this. I'm glad my son CAN eat other things, but I'm also thinking of all the kids his age who can't.
I agree with the importance of breastfeeding, but please don’t downplay those of us who really can’t produce enough or quality milk. Breasts are just like any other body part, which can and do misfunction in various ways. This is the greatest grief of my motherhood.
ReplyDeleteMy mother breastfed all of us, even twins with no problem. I was surrounded by only breastfeeding mothers both in childhood and as I had my children. My other two sisters had no problems. However, even though I pumped, ate only milk increasing food, took supplements and drank special teas, nurses constantly and on demand, I never produced enough milk. When I finally broke down and offered my first baby formula she drank it with desperation and went from the 30th percentile to the 90th, where she already was in height. I really didn’t have enough. I asked everyone’s advice that I knew, read everything that I could get my hands on, nothing worked. I even gained weight, because my body doesn’t feed the baby first. I kept supplementary nursing until 12 months, when she refused the breast, so she had some, but very little.
With my second, I actually truly starved him. I was worried because of our first experience, but kept trying. I had more milk, and he refused the bottle so I thought all was ok, until he started losing milestones, sleeping 20 hours out of 24, poor muscle tone, dull eyes. His pediatrician was talking about degenerative neurological disease until one morning before church he suddenly bit me really hard and accepted a bottle for the first time at 8 months. Suddenly he woke up, gained milestones, eyes brightened, and basically came back to life. I never had much milk so my breasts were only slightly engorged after he stopped. I was able to express a little milk, and realized my milk had no fat in it. Just skim milk. He really was starving from lack of nutrients. He suffered a great deal with health issues, being hospitalized twice, which are getting better, but is short and much weaker than his sister.
I have suffered so much with guilt over literally starving my child. Even if I had the best of intentions, I did and he will feel the effects of it likely throughout his life. Please, please realize that breasts are not magically more functional than any other part of the human body and there’s many ways for them to malfunction, just like any other body part. The need for wet nurses was real and not just for upper class women by choice.
I'm so sorry you've encountered that kind of denial wherever you did. However, I reread everything and nobody here is saying any of what you imply. Perhaps it's just hard to think of oneself as the exception, but everyone knows and it's repeatedly acknowledged there are of course *some* cases where organs don't function adequately in our fallen state. Trying to solve the problem of inadequate breastfeeding rates by pointing out facts about how unusual it is to be unable is 0% downplaying the reality of genuine exceptions. On the contrary, part of the problem is a focus on exceptions to the distortion of norms.
DeleteYour experience sounds terrible and I'm so sorry it went that poorly. A good lactation consultant (or whoever's helping) makes sure the baby is not starving first - obviously that's more important than avoiding devices and supplements, and skilled consultants exist for navigating the individual path of not sabotaging potential breastfeeding by selecting appropriate tools and quantities. It's awful that your situations didn't include that, for whatever reason - certainly not all help is as skillful as it ought to be, nor is it always available where it's needed.
My wise mother in law said to me about another issue that i was feeling guilt over that in our fallen world, we will never be able to do things perfectly for our children, however much we try. In fact, perfection is God's business and is achieved in Heaven. I don't know if that will help you work through your bfing experiences but i know how terrible that sort of guilt can be, and it is definitely worth asking for God's healing.
DeleteGrace, just wanted to say that I’m so glad you commented and I’m praying for you! As an adoptive mom whose heart basically broke at not being able to breastfeed my baby and who also knows multiple women who have tried desperately to be able to breastfeed their (biological) babies and eventually had to either turn to the bottle, I really wish that people would stop saying that it is super rare for women to not be able to breastfeed their babies. It’s less rare than they think and I don’t think they realize how much guilt that causes and how hard it makes it for women who really do need to use a bottle/formula. Fed is best, end of story.
DeleteContinued. :) I get gently encouraging someone who is struggling with breastfeeding and may just need to get through it. But you HAVE to discern the situation and act prudently, with and ear towards being supportive if it turns out that she really can’t breastfeed. (Or frankly, even if she just decides to switch to a bottle. It’s none of your business.) And a lecture about this is especially harsh coming from someone who can breastfeed their kids, especially someone who breastfed easily. Issues like this need to be approached with so much more loving compassion than they generally are.
DeleteI wonder if you realize that shelves are empty of formula. New moms need to figure out how to breastfeed. If there is truly an issue or they are already using formula, they need to learn to make their own.
DeleteThis is indeed a wake-up call. I am sure you do not want to see babies suffer hunger and malnutrition.
It is my business (see Titus 2) to deliver that call.
It does no good to tell new mothers (at whom my post is aimed) that there are SO MANY who cannot do this.
Imagine giving that message in any other context.
Everywhere else we are urged to say "you got this!" and to be encouraging. But somehow when it comes to feeding our babies, we are suddenly meant to be sorrowful that it can't be done.
And then we wonder why so many are not able to do it.
Nursing does not come easily for everyone. No one in my childhood was breastfed. The lone time I saw a baby nursing in childhood I asked my mother, "Why is he eating her heart"? Despite frequent infections and injuries I was able to breastfeed my child for 19 months. But it took a lactation consultant, a midwife, a doula and a nursing friend to help me, sometimes more than one at once! I will always be grateful for these ladies for imparting this special knowledge. It is being lost.
ReplyDeleteAs you can see from what I wrote, I am well aware that it doesn't come easily for everyone. If you follow the links, you will see the literally thousands of words of help I have given.
DeleteThe purpose of this post is to rouse new mothers to the challenge! Let's not be discouraging from the outset.
Thank you for your post. I’m surprised by the number of stories I’ve heard recently of women who have a little one who struggles with breastfeeding. Only after months of trying just about everything they can think of to help breastfeed it is discover that their babe is tongue-tied or cheek tied. In each case I’ve heard once the tie is corrected that little one begins to nurse and thrive. I can’t help but wonder why ties aren’t something that are ruled sooner.
ReplyDeleteWhen my husband and I brought our son home through adoption, he was on commercial formula. For several factors that stand out to us now in reflection (2+ years on), he was surviving but not thriving. Several friends pointed me to a good recipe for homemade formula made with raw whole milk and cream plus other quality ingredients a developing child needs. Even the pediatrician (who is a "regular" MD ok'd the list! It was truly wonderful to be able to serve this to my son. I think very few moms (and moms to be) have heard of this as an option or else I think it would be a more viable option than commercial formula. Even if you don't have access to raw milk, you can still use whole milk and cream and the rest of the ingredients.
ReplyDeleteFrom among all the women I know, several have breastfed successfully for long periods of time (I consider that 6+ months up to 2+ years), but several also had great difficulty initially, or totally. Some were able to feed for just a few months and some were able to supplement, but there seemed to be a lot of challenges, even with consultants, etc. One friend mentioned that an NFP nurse told her (so I'm hearing this through the grapevine) that for women with some conditions (ie PCOS etc) the shape of the breast is actually altered slightly which makes latching on more difficult. I don't know firsthand but it would be an interesting thing to study.
There can be all sorts of trouble with digesting broadcasted advice, can't there? The giver of broadcasted advice can't know you, where you stand, what you need to hear.
ReplyDeleteI got in big trouble reading someone's advice on posture. "Put a little more curve into your lower back. Stick your rear out a little more. Drop your ribs. Drop your ribs. Drop your ribs." I don't know what part of the populace she was primarily exposed to. But evidently it was not what anyone would have advised me having viewed my posture and yes, I listened!!! for two years!, standing even further from straight than I already was.
Truth is, spending most of my time sedentary, I still have no idea what straight posture should feel like... but in order to benefit from broadcast advice you really have to have a good knowledge of your own position in relation to the topic. So countering a culture-wide loss of breastfeeding, natural childbirth or raising small children in self-control with broadcast advice is exceedingly tricky. And Auntie Leila's stuff is full of disclaimers.... just not so many disclaimers in this one post.
My mom breastfed ten children successfully and exclusively. The eleventh one failed to thrive. She found she needed to supplement at six months (when he weighed the same as at six weeks). In all that time he was a contented, easy going, uncomplaining little chap. She found she needed to supplement with the next three children after that as well. I was seventeen when her number 11 came and became firmly convinced that wet nursing and donor milk was the obvious solution for what was a very real concern. My mom used formula, which was great, but- formula was available. If it wasn't?
Correcting a tongue/lip/cheek tie doesn't always help the nursing relationship. Nursing on demand doesn't always. A dear friend with eleven children has always (often?) had much difficulty with supply and said, "If I nurse every hour around the clock I make enough milk" Okay. Right? How does that work?
So I really appreciate when Auntie Leila advises that anyone can nurse, whether they are nursing with a bottle or with a breast they can still spend lots and lots of time curled up together under a blanket, gazing into each other's eyes, and lovingly touching each other's faces. So tempting to NOT spend that time... but at the same time, so tempting to spend it. Auntie Leila is always saying simultaneously, "Go sit down and feed the baby" and, "Set the baby down and get up".
Aaaaagh!
Breast is design. It's normal. It's also subject to the fall. If you require a bottle, mothering an infant is even more apt to stretch you and move you along your own path to sainthood, if you let it.
This is so crazy to me. Living in Sweden, which by the way is by no means a conservative country, rather, one of the few positive aspects of the long reaching socialism here is an extended maternity leave. Most women stay home for a full year, or even a year and a half. Due to that breastfeeding is uncontroversial and indeed encouraged by the vast majority of ob/gyn, due to attachment and the nutritional value. Since the general attitude towards breastfeeding is so positive, it seems women get more help surrounding it and fewer are unable to do it. I know of exactly 2 people out of the many many moms around me who have not been able to feed their babies without formula. Not suggesting it would be a good idea for the states to implement a state funded 1 year maternity leave, its a taxpayer nightmare, but just goes to show how ideological the question seems to be in the states. It seems to me that it’s not about what’s best for the baby, but rather what’s most convenient for the couple.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is that here in the US we have a large demographic that is having babies out of wedlock. Our entire health system is geared towards simply mitigating the issues brought on by that fact.
DeleteThen there is a top tier that is relentlessly pursuing productivity, a paradigm that does not allow for resting and feeding the baby properly.